Between Sisters: Asalaamu ‘Alaikum

I was having a really bad day when this amazing sister I know sent me a message;

Sister: Asalaamu ’Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu

Me: Wa alaiki salam

Sister: Respond with better or at least equal

Me: *Rolls my eyes* Wa alaiki salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu

As I thought of the incident just before bed, I realised that it was not just something small.

In the Quran, Allah (SWT) says,

وَإِذَا حُيِّيتُم بِتَحِيَّةٍ فَحَيُّوا بِأَحْسَنَ مِنْهَا أَوْ رُدُّوهَا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ حَسِيبًا

And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner]. Indeed, Allah is ever, over all things, an Accountant. [4:86]

Meaning that it is recommended to respond with better but it is obligatory to respond equally. So it was not just a small silly thing. It was a huge deal. It is an order from Allah.

“What is meant by salaam is the greeting between people, which sows seeds of love and friendship in their hearts, as does giving food. There may be some weakness in the heart of one of them, which is dispelled when he is greeted, or there may be some hostility, which is turned to friendship by the greeting.”[Al-Sanoosi said in Ikmaal al-Mu’allim] 

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “By Him in Whose Hand is my life! You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I inform you of something which, if you do, you will love one another? Promote greetings amongst yourselves.”
Imran bin Husain (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:
A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: “As-Salamu ‘Alaikum (may you be safe from evil). Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) responded to his greeting and the man sat down. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Ten (meaning the man had earned the merit of ten good acts).” Another one came and said: “As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah (may you be safe from evil, and Mercy of Allah be upon you).” Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) responded to his greeting and the man sat down. Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Twenty.” A third one came and said: “As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu (may you be safe from evil, and the Mercy of Allah and His Blessings be upon you).” Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) responded to his greeting and the man sat down. Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Thirty.”[Abu Dawud and At- Tirmidhi].
We overlook it, thinking it is just a greeting but it is not. It is part of our Iman. It is the greeting of the successful on the day of judgement, the greeting from our Rabb to the dwellers of paradise. May Allah make us among them. Ameen.
A pretty common complaint amongst sisters is that one person never says salaam first or the one wearing hijab doesn’t say salaam to the one who isn’t wearing the hijab. I hope the following hadith put the issue to bed.
Abu Umamah Sudaiy bin `Ajlan Al-Bahili (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “The person nearest to Allah is one who is the first to offer greeting.”
[Abu Dawud].


The narration in At-Tirmidhi is: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was asked: “O Messenger of Allah! When two persons meet, who should greet the other first?” The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “The person nearest to Allah (i.e., one who is more obedient and therefore closer to Allah will say: As-Salam first.”


So, we should say Salaam first any chance we get, to those we know and those we do not know. And should someone else say Salaam first, we should always respond equally or with better. SubhanAllah! How perfect our Deen is.

To my darling sister, May Allah reward you for having my back. Ameen.

Until next time,

Asalaamu ‘Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu


Please let me know what you think in the comments below.

21 thoughts on “Between Sisters: Asalaamu ‘Alaikum

  1. ummkhadiijahspeaks says:

    Jaza ki Allahu khair for this post. Years ago in the USA specially in NYC most Sisters from other Nationalities didn’t respond to salaam given to them from other sisters that are not from their nations. Not be blunt but the truth has to be told. Some sisters from South Asian Countries like India or Pakistan or Bangladesh never response to some sisters whom are not of their Races or Culture. Ma shaa Allah after having friends from that region in College and studying the Deen with them, most of them noticed these actions from their communities and address it by showing the correct way to give back Salaams in their actions. and ma shaa Allah, things are changing now for the better with more sisters from those communities and others leaving their communities and going to the masajid and markaz to learn about our beautiful Deen, Salaams are being answered now. Alkamdulillaah Kulli ha


  2. Aisha0716 says:

    Wa alaikumus Salam wa Rahmatullah wa Barkatuhu!

    Jazakhallah khairan for this beautiful reminder,daily we overlook such things.

    …Much love always.


  3. Aisha says:

    I really love this post Allahumma baarik. Jazaakillah khair for the reminder. We have a perfect way of life in this deen subhaanAllah. Alhamdulillah.
    Please which app or website would you recommend for authentic ahadith? Shukran wa BaarakAllah feek.


    • UmmBilal says:

      Ameen wa anti. I just google and find those that have the chain of narration. If its one I know fine. If its one I have never heard of I confirm with my Sahih Bukhari. I think verifies first. You can also get a pdf copy of Sahih Buhkari or Muslim. Hope this helps. Allah knows best. Thank you for stopping by 😊


  4. Christal Joan says:

    I’ve written on this myself and it’s true. The salaam between believers is such a beautiful thing. I love giving salaams to sisters, especially when it makes them smile as then you’ve fulfilled 2 sunnahs in one!


  5. Fozia S says:

    True….I got a bit annoyed when people kept correcting me saying to say the full thing…until someone pointed out it says it in the Quran.

    I think the thing is when someone corrects you they also need to back it up otherwise you end up thinking they are just being a bit over the top


  6. lubnakarim06 says:

    Even I have been through that situation…when I am calling or talking face to face…I say full salam…but when I am chatting I write half…but since the time that sister has told me…I write my complete salam in a place where needed….indeed a nice post with a example…


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